Oct 24 2009
What’s the best thing about you?
My boyfriend is watching his little sister and brother while his parents are out of the country for a few days, so I havebeen spending a little more time than I would like with high schooler’s, but they are his family, and I do love them, so I guess it could be worse.
Well his little sister and my little sister are about the same age (mine is a bit older) and they both seem to have the same wonderful attitude problem associated with teenage girls who are the babies of the family. The only difference may be my little sister is more of a rebel and his is more of a sit there and complain about everythingtype. Well I told David’s sister yesterday how she was just like mine (she had been calling me a dork and making fun of me all evening, something I more noticed than was bothered by) and she asked if Carol, my little sister, was just like me (ie: a complete looser, in her eyes). I told her no, Carol is quite the socialite, and she doesn’t do any of the same things I used to do (Band, Choir, Drama, Latin club, AP classes; basically all the geeky stuff). And that’s when David’s sister said, “You can sing?”
This surprised me, not because she said it in a mocking fashion, but rather because she didn’t know I could sing. Everyoneknows I can sing. Well, everyone from my old life knew I could sing. I went to college for it for a year and a half, all my classmates heard me sing on a weekly basis, sometimes on a daily one. I sang Italian Areas, and pieces from Operas and Handel’s Messiah. I sang in German, Latin, French, Italian, and English, sometimes all in the same day. In high school I was in three choirs each year, I did solo and ensemble competitions, took voice lessons and had at least one solo every year, not to mention the fact that I was in musicals and plays that I sang in. I did talent shows and Akron Idol competitions,I sang at weddings and other events; everyone knew I could sing.
It was just a strange realization that something that had once defined me, something that once gave me my meaning and my purpose, was going unnoticed by the people I am now familiar with. It seems that maybe I need to get back to some of that. Maybe that is why I feel so lost right now. I’ve given up on what made me happier than any other thing in the world, because I felt it was fiscally irresponsible to become a music teacher, when the first programs to be cut in schools are the music ones. So I turned my back on my one true love, I put it away and now I need to pull it back out.
I will be looking for a choir to join, now is the perfect time since its almost the Holiday season, and Christmas music gives me the most joy. It’s almost like a slap in the face when you realize that giving up your career choice made so much more of an impact on your life than you suspected. Too much time away from being personally involved in the music has made me a strange version of myself that I didn’t even recognise. Time to get back to Denise, time to get back to the music, time to get back to everything that I am. I am a singer, no matter what my major is.
